Tarry a while

Think not my mind of this pain you’re in
For it saddens me so; and you ne’er did in the past.
You lit up my life and brought joy therein
So stay, don’t go; I beg and pray that you last…

  1. Shamik Chakravarty’s avatar

    Well, first Nikhil I must commend this poem…that the plea captures all that we value the mind for…but perhaps I might suggest, and I do this very tentatively because there is so much this poem encompasses, that you might consider a further thought to adjust to the vagaries of the mind:
    “For who would lose,
    Though full of pain, this intellectual being,
    Those thoughts that wander through eternity,
    To perish rather, swallowed up and lost
    In the wide womb of uncreated night,
    Devoid of sense and motion?”(Milton)

    and that it can be both compatible with this poem ( that is, that the mind might have brought joy despite the pain and yet did not think about it) , and contradictory (that the mind did think of the pain and thinking about it made the mind even more heroic)

    next: as for the other poems, such simplicity and the flow so brooklike and…so fresh. I was wondering if you would like a bit of modernist poetry (O darken’d thought and herald of uncomely tidings!) like T S Eliot or war poetry like Wilfred Owen or the more audacious Romantics like Coleridge and Keats to influence your poetry. Again, a tentative proposal. I wonder what would come of it. You obviously are delightfully talented!

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